Honeymoon was terrible

There are so many fractions of life that need support and a voice. Of late a lot of violent stories have been released and it gives others a glimpse into the rampant lives of abuse in our society especially between couples who supposedly love each other. The honeymoon period ended the day after we were married, six months from when we first met. After a little argument, Dehinde grabbed me by the waist and lifted me up against the wall.
 He grabbed my hands and bent them backward, breaking one of my fingers. I was in shock. I was stunned. I was in serious pains. A few hours after the incident, He broke into tears and told me how sorry he was. I loved him so much, so I believed him when he said it wouldn’t happen again. But life became hell after that. For the next two months the abuse was nonstop.
 He kept me in a constant state of terror. I’m not a drinker, but he’d toss a bottle of beer in my face and say “drink”. He’d punch me in the stomach or kick me in the thigh if I didn’t. I started walking on tiptoes around him, fearful of everything I’d say and do. But it didn’t matter; the abuse continued. He dislocated my shoulder several times.
He’d lift me up by the ankles and bang my head against the floor in the living room. A part of me wanted to leave, but another part of me hesitated. Somehow I felt I was partially responsible for the abuse. If I hadn’t made a particular comment or if I had just sipped the alcohol everything would have been OK. And for the first few months he was apologetic after the beatings.
He’d say he felt very bad and that he didn’t mean to hit me so hard. He’d actually cry sometimes and show such remorse that I’d forget my own pain. He’d become romantic and sweet, and I’d fall in love with him all over again. I started to isolate myself from friends and family. I didn’t want them to know about the violence.
I put on a happy face with my two kids and tried to act like things were fine. They knew about the violence but didn’t know the severity. When my mom wanted to see me, I’d lie, saying I was busy. I didn’t want her to see my bruises. I was embarrassed. Sadly, the abuse worsened. The rapes began about two months after we were married.
 I was dressing for work when he came out of the shower and asked me where I was going. He didn’t wait for my answer. He threw me on the bed, sat on my stomach, pinned my arms up beside my head and ripped off my clothes. “If you want s*x, wait until I get home tonight,” I said. “You’ll do it when I want, and how I want,” was his response. It got worse after that. He would tie me up and put foreign objects such as necks of beer bottles into my v*g*na.
 Five months into the marriage I endured beating after beating. While most of the assaults were done when my children weren’t home, I was worried that they might step in and try to protect me. If they did, they might get beaten, too. I began plotting our escape, but it was difficult. He had begun making threatening comments: “You can never get far enough away from me. I will always find you. If I can’t have you, no one will.” I felt trapped.
How I left? He had disappeared for three days. I didn’t know where he was. I thought he had been in an accident. I called his phone; he would answer but not say anything. He arrived home on the third night at about 1a.m. and immediately started screaming at me that he didn’t appreciate me trying to track him down. We were in the sitting room and he grabbed the land-phone receiver and began to beat me in the face with it.
 His eyes were red and flashing like I’d never seen before. I ran to the bedroom, and he was right behind me. He picked me up over his head and threw me across the room twice. I broke my tailbone in the second fall. My 6-year-old daughter woke up. She must have heard something and came to see what was happening.
 She just stood there, stunned. He looked at her and got scared for some reason. He went into the bedroom and pack his things. I found my phone, fighting the pain from the broken bone, limped to the living room, I then called my father who took me away from the house. Since then I have not set my eyes on Dehinde. Please what should I do about this marriage?
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24 Responses

  1. He is a psycho,u just need 2 move on and focus on giving your kids the best even when there dad isn’t there.God is your strength

  2. Love is about loving&caring.if those 2 word are missing consider d mariage void.who knows some1 else is there dying 4u&who wil appreciate your finest.a living cat is stronger than a dead lion.

  3. O sorry dear!

  4. Just leave dat man 4 gudo, b4 he wil tak ur life.

  5. My candid advice 4 u is to leave that human beast before he squizes life out of u.

  6. you are a humble and beautiful woman. Dehinde doesnt deserve you at all. just move on with your life cos if u go bacjk, he will continue to molest and disrespect you till he finally kills you which will den b 2 late. pls run away 4rm him oo

  7. Is gud 4 u 2 end of d relationship b4 he kill u, dis is 1 of d terrible act of men

  8. He’s having a phychiatric disorder,so kip-off n inform his pple 2 tk him 2 a phychiatric hospital den make oda decisions on whether 2 continue wit d marriage or nt bt i dnt advice u 2 continue wit d marriage

  9. This man needs serious deliverance. Pray for him. He is possessed.

  10. This is terrible! You ladies need to be very vigilant befor going into any relationship. Look at what you have done to ur self now. Keep away from that mad dog and focus on you childreen. If there is a need to get married again shine your eyes very well

  11. Hmmm.dat man need physical deliverance,with cain b4 spiriture 1.bcos he dy sick….i beg young lady pray 4 am.there is notin God can not do.just blive.dats all.soro may last 4 d nit but joy comes in d mornin

  12. Wait til u die:den u knw wat 2do plsss

  13. Pls dont stay a min there any longer run for ur dear life

  14. pls go and look for him so that you guyz wuld continue frm where you stop

  15. It’s not easy to walk out of a marriage,especially for a lady. Moreso,when she already has kids. What has happened to you,my friend is terrible and pathetic. Though we’ve not been opportuned to read Dehinde’s side of the story. Because there are always two sides to a story. All I would advise for now is for you to give him some distance;a sane man wouldn’t do such to a lady he professes to love. It’s absolute madness ! Get your lawyer to obtain an order of separation from the court and not a order of dissolution. I am unwilling to go down with the suggestion of divorce for now. The order of separation will give you the legal competence to leave apart from hi and have your peace,while still enjoying all the financial benefits as a wife. This would enable him come back to his senses at least when he stays alone for a year or so alone. And if he doesn’t and you’re fed up,then you may proceed to seek for a divorce. But please ensure to ask for the custody of the children,so that they’ll not suffer the same fate like you.


    • Gud talk, iyke , my dear sis , run for ur life , dt man is a ritualIst ,he may cm back begging pls dnt listen to his sugar couted mouth or tear , take costudy of ur kids n take them for deliverance so that d blood dt runs in there father wil nt run through them . If u try going back u may nt escapes dis time around . Let him dt has hear, let him hear . Dt wait for prophet to tel u wt to do.

  17. Pls my dear,tel him is over how long will you feed with beating and endurance,let you dadd stay with children and run for your life make sure you train them well even if you find another husband.

  18. Good morning dehinde, house is your health now.the truth is that the deed is being done, you have married him which means 4better 4 worse. i will not advise you to leave him,but the question,did you actually pray to God or you loved him by sight? if either of this two, please go back to God i know He will help you out all the way. pray God should melt and shape him into a gentle fellow. And talk to Him calmly and respectfully, let him realize how strong or weak you are and how to respect you please use your softest voice and pray to God for direction.He did for the people of hold, He will do it for you. takia.

  19. Thank God u know his character! Bring it to God in prayer he will surely see u through!

  20. uhmm,what a story .
    their is no love in a relationship where a man beats up a lady so i think you should run for your life before he kills you and start saying it wasnt intetional befor the police

  21. your story is quite pathetic; all things being equal. First, i will start by saying that marriage is the greatest and most wonderful experience on earth. The right man must marry the right woman according to God’s divine plan. It is obvious that the right foundation was not laid in your marriage which is the very root cause of your dilemma. Notwithstanding, all hope is not lost, with God all things are possible. My advice is (1) if the marriage was conducted in the church, get back to your pastor for counselling (2) Get closer to God in your relationship in sincere repentance (3) if no 2 above is achieved, spend serious time in prayer and fasting for God’s intervention (4) you may separate from him for now for your safety while pursuing the above. May God see you through!

  22. Wat a question!!!! STAY WIT HIM WELLLL,love nwantintin,maybe d beatin took some of ur senses,more beating wud rearrange ur senses then u won’t ask dis silly question anymore!!!

  23. Pls live such man alone he doesn’t deserve someone like u

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