Ever since her relationship broke down four years ago, sports manager Clare decided to exclusively date other people’s husbands.
And the 32-year-old single mum reckons it ENHANCES their marriages.Clare said: “People reading this will brand me a brazen whore who has no care or thought for the wives of the men I so enjoy dating and — when I like them enough — sleeping with.
“But I do not want to be perceived as a marriage wrecker.
“Instead, I feel I make married men so much more satisfied in their lives that I actually enhance their marriage — they go home far more happy and are nicer to their wives.”
Here, in a frank interview, Clare — who meets men through an internet dating site for married people — lifts the lid on life as a mistress and the tricks attached men use to keep their steamy second life under wraps.
She says: “The reason I only sleep with married men is simple — I do not want any man having control over my life.
“If I was dating single guys they might fall in love with me and want to move into my home.
Clare, from Richmond, south-west London, believes it also means she can focus on her family — her two daughters aged 13 and four.
She explains: “By sleeping with married men, I get all the fun of dating interesting guys and none of the responsibility of having a relationship.
“The majority of women have no idea about their husbands’ secret lives.
“Nearly every single one of the married men who contact me say their wife does not understand them — that old cliché — and their lives, especially their sex lives, have become very stale and boring.”
Clare, who draws the line at dating newly-weds, continues: “I go for men who have been married a while, who are effectively looking for my help.
“I can clearly see what the men get out of dating me. They get a slim, attractive woman who hangs on their every word and is genuinely interested in their lives.
“If the relationship progresses to bed, then they have an exciting new, young partner who is happy to do things their wives might never imagine in an amazing fantasy world.
In that fantasy world, Clare says she “transforms herself” and declines to tell the men about the fact she has children or where she lives. “In my normal life I am a casual dresser, but when I meet my married men, I put on a beautiful, fitted dress and high heels. My make-up is immaculate, my hair is beautiful.
“I become someone else — a glamorous lady who is treated wonderfully by the men she meets. They are usually extremely polite and well-mannered.
“I allow them to be very masculine. So many women today are trying to boss their husbands and dominate them. I become soft and feminine when I am with my married men and they love it.
“I pick the men I sleep with very carefully, and I always weed out the men who only want sex. I am by no means an easy conquest. Not all my relationships are sexual, but it is exciting when it reaches that level.”
Clare continues: “I usually start by meeting them for coffee, then if I like them it progresses to a meal — and then if the relationship moves on we go to a hotel. It’s all part of the fantasy — I wouldn’t usually go to these places, and the men are happy to pay.”
She says: “Usually I see about four men at one time. I meet them through the website Illicit Encounters.
“The internet has opened up the world of infidelity to men — they can now meet attractive, single women like me at the click of a mouse.
“We communicate via email or text — I bet a lot of women don’t know their husbands have another, secret phone, the one they use to call and text me.
“I suspect many of the men on the website are seeing several women at a time — I insist on condoms, as sexual health is extremely important and I would never compromise myself.
“Of course I know there is a real stigma to what I do. But there are so few guys out there now who aren’t married or in relationships, and I don’t want to take on someone else’s problems.
“I feel really flattered if a guy says to me, ‘I thought I didn’t know how to feel like this any more’ — but I know he won’t leave his wife.
“I don’t think about their wives. Yet I’m not saying to myself, ‘Hee hee, I can get your man and you know nothing about it.’
“After all, it’s not my fault they want to see me.
“Maybe one day I’ll stop. But I think I’ll wait until my kids are grown up, and I have more time for a committed relationship with a single guy. In the meantime, I am having a lot of fun.
“My advice? If I was a wife, I’d want to know why my husband spent so much time on the internet…”
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