Five fights to avoid in your relationship

We all have gotten into unnecessary arguments and fights with our partners where we end up with regrets. Couples fight over silly issues like these:

1.)  “Why do you work a lot?”
People don’t understand that when your partner has already hard an exhausting day at the office, it’s so wrong to start a fight about his work hours when he returns home. Marriage expert Sheri Meyers says,  “Rather than fighting about your S.O. spending too much time at work, make the time you do have together even more precious and special by filling it with the three A’s: attention, appreciation and affection. ” She adds that, “When you put your focus on the good things that you value in your relationship, the time you do spend together will be more fun, loving and fulfilling.”

2.)  “We don’t have enough sex”
Being hostile with your partner about how often you have sex or your desire to try something new in the bedroom won’t change anything even though you have a valid point. According to marriage and family therapist, Amy Begel, “Arguing about sex never works. Sex is the most intimate of connections between two people but you need to realize it’s primarily a non-verbal art form.” She adds that fights brings the ‘wrong kind of energy” and “kills the spark” you share as a couple. Instead, “imagination, seduction, affection, great conversation and well-placed flirting are more likely to positively transform a couple’s sex life.”

3.) “I am right and you are wrong”
This is the most common fights between couples nowadays. It’s difficult dealing with a partner who always needs to be right. Maybe you should try telling your spouse that you need to agree to disagree when you are little self-righteous.  “The truth is neither one of you is 100 percent right and neither one of you is 100 percent wrong,” Sheri Meyers says. “The task at hand is to stop competition (me vs. you) and start cooperation (you are, after all, a team). Instead of looking for what’s wrong, search for what you can agree on.”

4.) “Why can’t or don’t you call me while you’re at work?”
WTF! He/she should drop whatever they are doing to call you? What for? Even though it’s kind and thoughtful to check on your spouse during the day, it’s also hard to do so between meetings and a super busy day. “It might be that she can’t multitask her attention at work and it’s better to wait until she’s away from the office grind to talk,” said Carin Goldstein, a marriage and family therapist based in Sherman Oaks, California. “So if you really need to chit-chat during the day, call a friend who has some free time and save yourself a no-win argument with your spouse.”

5.) “I’m the only one keeping this relationship afloat”
Stay clear of arguments about who’s the better parent, spouse or breadwinner. There’s no room from one-up-manship in a healthy marriage, says Begel. “Fights like this mask underlying tensions that need to be addressed openly, without kicking the other person in the process,” adding, “These are important challenges that need to be worked through — your feelings of neglect or lack of appreciation matter — but don’t make it a competition.”

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