There are times in a relationship (friendships or romantic unions), when one gets to that point when you think you just can’t go on. Whether it’s gut feeling, abusive behaviour, or just general indifference, it is important to note that not all relationships will end in happy marriages. Below are a few signs o know when to call it quits:
The past is your present
Every relationship has memories, good and bad. However, if you’re at the point in your relationship where you stay stuck in the good times, which unfortunately, seem to be all in the past, it may be time to leave. The past should not hold you back from enjoying the present, no matter the current challenges. If you are at the point when you wish how things could be, and neither of you seems willing to work towards making things better, then the relationship may be in trouble. Life is for the present and the past is the past for a reason. If you are absolutely sure moving forward is impossible, then it is time to leave.
Unwillingness to put in effort
No matter the challenges faced in a relationship, the willingness to put in effort into making the relationship work is a sign that the relationship will improve. However, if one party simply refuses to bring in the needed determination to make things work, then it is pointless. Whether it’s a bad habit that needs addressing, constant quarrels, refusal to communicate, or something else, life is too short to be wasted on efforts that will eventually amount to nought. A relationship is a partnership and only team work will make it better. If your partner seems fed up with the relationship, and you find yourself agreeing, then consider saying your farewell.
There is no growth
As much a wonderful person as an individual is, a relationship is meant to make one an even better person. A good way to judge the quality of a relationship is to determine just how better both individuals are becoming. Whatever area you both choose to grow, the important thing is to make significant improvement on personal levels, and positively too. That is why it is important to have a clear personal direction about what you want to do with your life before getting involved with someone else. That way, one can decide on time if the relationship will improve him/her before wasting months and years on building it. Compatibility is not necessarily in liking the same movies or music; it extends to life goals, educational achievements and even moral standards. If you experience no positive growth in a relationship, it may be time to consider leaving.
Both parties expect change
While a relationship may change a person, the change should actually be a reflection of some positive streak, which is already present, even if it in the subconscious. However, going into a relationship with the belief that a spouse will change from bad to good will affect the relationship negatively. While nobody is perfect, it is important to realise that every relationship is a potential marriage, else why bother? One must consider the long term effects of a bad habit, and if you’re absolutely sure your life’s work on earth is to bear such burden, then by all means stay. If not, move on. The world is full of people.
Another dimension is if a partner expects you to change, especially if you know you won’t, even if you pretend you might. there is no point wasting each other’s time, when eventually the relationship will not work.
Nothing gets better
It is a given that a relationship will experience challenges, but if your fears for the future are becoming too regular, then you may need to reconsider. Working with the expectation that the relationship will miraculously get better, especially when the circumstances surrounding the relationship points otherwise, moving on might just be the best option. Apples don’t fall from mango trees.
Your standards differ
Being in a relationship with someone whose values are a far cry from what you hold dear and expecting that union to work, is almost like expecting to chew paracetamol and expect it to taste like chocolate. As much as each person is expected to have his/her opinion about what is important, it is also necessary that your values align. Otherwise, find a way to move on.
You’re constantly hurt
A relationship may bring pain at certain instances, such as an insult, forgotten birthdays and anniversaries and even the occasional spat. However, there should be a limit and it is necessary to know when something is an honest mistake and when the partner openly disrespects or is simply taking you for a ride. Also be cautious of if you find yourself always justifying their actions. Abuse of any for is negative for a relationship and may just be the needed sign to leave. Better now than when you become so battered, you lose all hope of ever picking yourself up.