11 Realistic Reasons She Isn’t Responding to Your Texts

Despite sending her the smoothest, sweetest line you can come up with, she still hasn’t replied with so much as a “K.” So what gives?

Imagine this scenario: You meet a girl at a bar, you start talking, it’s going well, and you get her number. So the next day you text her, but she simply isn’t responding. What happened? What’s the meaning of this?

Occasionally, the way that a girl behaves in real life can be drastically different from how she behaves through texts. Even if she seems to really like you, like in the above scenario, she might go completely silent via text. This can be incredibly frustrating.

Adding to that frustration is the fact that there could be a number of reasons why she isn’t responding. Some of these reasons may mean that she doesn’t like you, and others may be completely unrelated to how she feels about you.

Reasons she hasn’t been contacting you

At any rate, it’s helpful to try to figure why she’s being so silent. If you can get to the bottom of it, it may help to alleviate you frustration. So what possible reasons could she have for not replying to you?


#1 Her phone is broken. This is the simplest possible answer. It could really just be that she dropped her phone and she doesn’t have a backup readily available to stick her SIM card in. An easy way to resolve this would be to send her a message on Facebook, or just ask her friends if she’s been receiving your text.

#2 She’s playing hard to get. Sometimes girls will intentionally not respond to you, because they are playing hard to get. In other words, they just don’t want to come across as too easy. They want you to show some effort – they want you to not give up easily. Send her at least one really sweet or clever line each day, and add in a subtle invitation for a future date. This should be effort enough to merit at least a short reply, right?

#3 She likes someone else. Even if you had a great conversation with the girl at the bar, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are her top choice. If another guy also got her number that night, she may be giving him all of her attention.

In this situation, it may be wise to just wait a few days and see what happens. Maybe the other guy will strike out, and she might text you a lot more. If not, you can simply move one. There are other fish in the sea.

#4 She’s too busy. Sometimes women just have a lot on their plates. Even if they like to go to the bar and flirt, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are ready to start a new relationship, or that they want to be texting with you regularly.

If you suspect that this is the case, it may be a good idea to just keep looking and not spend too much time waiting on her.

#5 She may have accidentally deleted your text. Occasionally, technical mix ups like this do happen. If you really think that she likes you, it might be worth it to send her another text, just to make sure that something like this didn’t happen. If she doesn’t respond to two or three texts, try her social media accounts. If there’s still no response, take a hint and accept that she’s not that into you.

#6 She’s extremely shy. If you had a great conversation with the girl at the bar, she may have been a little bit tipsy. Perhaps the alcohol was giving her confidence that she doesn’t normally have. Maybe now that she is sober, she is simply too shy to text you back.
If you suspect that this is what is happening, it is definitely a good idea to be on the very gentle side with your texts. You don’t want to scare her away. Start off with open-ended questions and sweet little greetings. When she warms up to you, she’s bound to send a reply.

#7 She doesn’t actually like you that much. Hopefully it’s not the case, but if she isn’t texting you back after a few days, this could definitely be what is going on. Perhaps she isn’t responding because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying “I actually don’t like you that much. Thanks though.”

When you’ve given her plenty of instances to reply to you, and she still seems cold, give it a rest and just move on.

#8 She might be insecure about something she didn’t tell you. This is another potential reason why she might not be texting you back. For example, say that you met a great girl and you really hit it off. What she may not have told you is that she has five kids, and she doesn’t think that you will like her because of that.

If you assume that anything like this is happening, it may be best to just give her some encouragement. Compliment her, and tell her that you had a blast when you were talking to each other. This may be enough to get her to let her guard down and open up to you.

#9 She’s actually a lesbian. This is probably a very rare scenario, but who knows, maybe that hot little number that you were talking to at the club was actually a lesbian. Maybe she just liked the attention you were giving her. Or maybe she thought you were just a very butch girl, but then realized otherwise when she wasn’t drunk.

Look back at your conversation. Did she mention anything about her being into girls? Did you catch her checking out girls more than guys? Were your conversations centered around very “typically manly” topics like cars, sports and hot models? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may have just tried to charm your way into a lesbian’s pants!

#10 She accidentally gave you the wrong number. This could be another very simple and logical explanation for what is happening. After a few drinks those ones can start to look like sevens. Also, you could have just entered it into your phone wrong. If you still have the number, you may want to go back and double check that you are texting Darcy, and not Darlene, the 86 year old nun from Idaho.

Of course, you could always go online and message her there. But that’s only if she was nice enough to give you her Twitter handle or her Facebook URL.

#11 She forgot. This is another simple, but definitely possible explanation. Sometimes, people simply forget to respond to texts. You may have been waiting for it all day, but she could have been in the middle of a “Sex and the City” marathon with her BFF when you sent her your message.

Give it a little while, see if she responds. If not, send her another text.

Trying to figure out why a girl isn’t texting you back can be a tricky game to play. On one hand, you want to find out why she isn’t responding. But on the other hand, you don’t want to seem needy and desperate. With these possible reasons in mind, you can then plan your next move. 

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